Craig A. McKee, CPPB
Director of Contracting Programs

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Let’s see, write a new biography… OK, it needs a strong opening, something like:

“I was born, in cross-fire hurricane, and I howled, at my ma in the driving rain.”

No, it should be original. Think, think.

I know…

“In the beginning, there was darkness across the land… all was bleak, hope seemed lost,”

No, it should be humble. How about:

“I was conceived in a small dark room, on a small dark Island, from a weak, insignificant seed…”

No, no, that’s too humble. Hmm, maybe I could try opening with a joke:

“Two Craigs walk into a bar…”* or “How many Craigs does it take to screw in a light bulb?”**

Nah, corny jokes might not properly convey my serious nature. What if I tried the learned historical scholar approach? Something like:

“One score and 17 years ago, my forefather brought fourth, upon another continent,*** a new son, conceived in liberty…”

Boy, that’s not going anywhere either. Maybe I could, oh dang it, I’m out of room.

I wonder if anybody would notice if I just turned this in?****

* Ouch, ouch (they walked into a bar, get it?)
** Just one, but my wife has to remind me to do it four or five times.
*** I was born in England, that’s why I look so pink in the picture.
**** craig@mesc.org (If you notice.)